The "Strategic Midriff"

To clarify, I am not writing this just because the crop top is back in.

I have, in fact, been practicing what I call the "strategic midriff" since junior year of high school and am of the belief that midriff-baring gets an undeservedly bad rep. There is a difference, however, between obnoxiously and/or awkwardly showing one's stomach and doing so in an acceptable manner.

The "Strategic Midriff" is achieved by heeding the following precautions:

1) No belly button piercings. Woof. I don't think I need to really go in any more depth with this.

2) The length of exposed stomach should not exceed the span of one's fingers in a relaxed position, from thumb to pinky. (I purposely make this measurement possible without aid of a ruler, so there are no excuses! Unless you are missing a phalange... in which case I am most sorry for your misfortune but you must use the closest adult human's finger span as substitute.)

3) There are essentially only three acceptable silhouettes for the shirt component of this look:
a) bandeau. (No low rise bottoms! This would take you out of strategic midriff and into dubious waters. Only the carriage should be showing, not the lower stomach or belly button.)
b) loose fit crop top (A friend of us who are less than gifted in the chest region.)
c) Shorter casual tee (In this case, only an inch or two of skin, otherwise one may appear like an overgrown baby. Historically, not a good look.)

4. Avoid "that which should not be named" (muffin top!-- but don't make me say it again). Proper sized waistbands make for proper social lives. Now that's a rule we can all live by.

Depending on mood I may cover the "terrors of relaxed fit denim" or "just say no to ribbed sweater fabric" next time. You should probably hold your breath in anticipation.