Being that the parasitic "Spirit of Halloween" seasonal franchise is in full throttle, it is probably about that time again to consider the thought process behind poor choices in Halloween costumes.
I'm pretty sure ALL of us have a few mis-steps in our past. See: freshman year "Strawberry Shortcake" costume, childhood "Hershey Kiss" costume that unfortunately appeared more like the garb of a racial extremist sect than a chocolately treat... (the list continues).
Thankfully, every Halloween is a new opportunity to make up for the errors of the past. So what exactly DOES qualify as a good costume?
1) Culturally irrelevant figure, clutch style. Think: Linda Hogan. This allows the wearer to dress in absurd, over the top "trendy" clothing of poor taste. On no other day of the year could this be at all a positive. A perfect excuse to venture into some sort of hot mess of a trashy retailer and not wear a ski mask.
2) Odd consumer packaged good. Think: box of Wet Naps. Sartorial accuracy gets bonus points here. Mixed media, paper products, and bizarre household materials are all up for grabs. This is the only opportunity to relive "anything but clothes" themes, post college.
3) Washed up musician. Think: Ja Rule. Study obscure music videos from the early 2000s. Learn outdated dance movies. Embrace unfortunate temporary hairstyles.
4) Faux social "concept." Think: Wangsta. Simultaneously embody all cliches of the character type at once. Deliciously obnoxious.
Happy Halloween!
Where does Antoine Dodson fit in??
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